I see so many parents protecting their children from many dangers, filtering their world, lying to them, hiding things from them, I would never tell people how to bring up their children, but the one thing we can all agree on is that the biggest danger to any child is their parents.
From what I have learned the worst thing we can do to a child is spoil them, most of the troubled people are spoilt in their upbringing, so this is my top priority is not to spoil my child, it’s tough watching them cry and holding things away from them for no real reason apart from to not spoil them.
The biggest danger to our children is actually us, we mess them up more than anyone else can. So many parents try to make children their friends, it can work but I have to give my son tough love which he will thank me for later, I mean I am the one that has to say no to him and take things off him.
Here are some things I try to help my children grow into successful and honest men
- No arguing around them, they are happy children because they don’t see conflict (we rarely do anyway)
- No filtering (within reason) I have let my son see violent thrillers and I always debrief him after movies, I explain to him why each scenario couldn’t possibly be real and I explain how the movie was constructed with green screens and how it’s just made to shock and entertain. I wouldn’t do scary movies just yet because I want him to sleep at night. He sees a lot on youtube, I do my best to explain how/why people do things that they do.
- I talk to him about my investments, the companies products, services and I try to make him aware of what I have invested in for him (Disney, Alibaba and Tesla)
- I talk about the business that we are involved in, but not in great detail regarding the bars, I keep him physically well away from them. I talk to him about my future ideas for him, but he can make his own choices later.
- I teach him the right mindset to have, especially not blaming, telling the truth and doing what he says he will. (not easy right now)
- I almost never talk about the news because I do not watch it, I teach him to focus on helping those around him and bettering himself
- I teach him to have a balanced life, success is about happiness, helping family, reinvesting profits, building a legacy and teaching those around you.
- On his birthdays, mine and my wife’s, we always give to charities instead of receiving presents, this has made him very thoughtful of others.
- Help him travel the world, with me and without me later, I think the best education by far for any child is travelling to many different countries and experiencing many different cultures. It’s also a great business lesson because lots of countries have different ideas and rules.
- Install good work ethics by making him work for things, no free handouts.
- I don’t like schools giving out medals to everyone, I tell him the truth about that, you are either a winner or not, there is no 2nd place in many real-life business situations
- I try not to label him as anything negative, I always tell him to do better next time
- He asks me why people don’t work, why they smoke, why they don’t have money (when we travel because he doesn’t see it too much in his own life) I try to explain to him the different mindsets that get people in such positions and explain to him about parenting, life choices and how to avoid problems, I have told him he can drink alcohol if he wants when he’s old enough but I have told him the risks, loss of time and the bad decisions that can arise. I try not to point people out as losers, I try to explain what could have brought them there.
- I do my best to never show moments of weakness or moaning, he needs a confident leader
- I have taught him growth mindset, the 80/20 rule and the power of compounding also. These are solid foundations for him later on.
- Jordan Peterson said you can measure the success of parents by seeing how their children socialises with other children, we took our children straight to nursery at a very young age, my youngest is 6 months and he goes to nursery once a week. Anthony started when he was 1.5 years old.
- A lot of parents (with money) refuse to pay for their children to go to expensive schools because they say the education can’t be better, its the connections, the service, the support and the mindset of other children around them that is the value, Anthony’s friends parents are all successful business owners, all of our investment into his education (7000 GBP a year) will come back later in deals for him. He’s got resources through his friends already and he’s only 8 years old. Not to mention I have some strong connections from that bonding.
- I try to hug them and kiss them both daily, with a lot of resistance jokingly from Anthony, but I feel that children need love and encouragement every day. But that doesn’t mean making him soft, if he’s crying about nothing, I will ignore him.
- I have high expectations of him often ignoring the fact he’s a child, I try to make him grow into them, be proud and want to do better.
I go by the motto, monkey sees monkey do. They follow what we do, not what we say. I believe very strongly in this. This should be applied at work, running companies and teaching people. I couldn’t be a good high-performance mentor if I was on the sofa watching Netflix, watching sports, sat at bars smoking or drinking. This also helps me to behave!
But I am always mindful that any bad behavior is my fault and I have to change the way I deal with him differently, it’s a bitter pill to swallow but it’s true.
I am also mindful that he needs to learn to appreciate money, budget because he sees a lot of money moving around and often thinks we have money to waste. The biggest challenge is we make good money and he sees nice houses, cars, investing and often thinks there is no struggle, but we are always explaining to him where we came from, the struggles we have and what price we have paid to get to where we are.
What trump card do I have up my sleeve?
I have told Anthony to accelerate his reading, then I will pay him 10-20 GBP per book that he reads of my choice, they will all be personal development, mindset, growth, business, entrepreneur books. There will be around 100-300 books that I will pay him to read, I will also tell him to make notes and teach others. This is what will accelerate him into the compounding effects of education, giving him all the tools he needs.